Thursday, February 21, 2013

I Know I Am Strange

I've always been a little strange.  It's sort of a funny, quirky strange.  But I think some people find me really, really weird and it can be a little off-putting.  I can remember, even as a kid, I would sometimes say or do the weirdest things.  My mom can vouch for me.

  • For instance, at the beginning of the school year in first grade, I told the teacher I was allergic to bee stings.  She called my mom.  My mom told her I was not allergic to bee stings.

  • I told that same teacher that I once got lost at the zoo and couldn't find my mom and what a terrible ordeal it was.  This is another story that was completely false and my mom, once again, set the teacher straight. 

  • In junior high, I told a teacher that I had leukemia.  She called my mother to see how "Jennifer is doing with her leukemia."  I don't know how my mom held it together on that one.

Maybe I was not strange, but a complete liar!  No, I think I was just a good story teller.  Creative...very creative.

  • I was REALLY awkward around boys, too.  I'm surprised any of them ever wanted to date me.  I said the stupidest things.  Maybe all girls do, but I just remember that a lot of other girls seemed waayyyyy cooler and more smooth and confident than I did. 
One boy in 9th grade wrote in my yearbook, "You are the strangest girl I know."  I think that said it all.

And I'm still awkward even around my husband.  He rolls his eyes a lot.  So does my son, JT.  Two peas in a pod, those guys.  I know they love me, though.  Deep down inside.

  • I used to wake my brother up in the mornings by dancing across his room and singing the old Bible song, "Rise and Shine and Give God the Glory, Glory!"  He remembers it to this day and I'm sure he looks back on it as a brother/sister bonding moment.  I'm pretty sure his friends' sisters did not bestow this type of royal treatment upon them.

  • I firmly believe that closet doors should be shut at night because they could be potential portals for ghosts and demons to enter a house.  So I routinely go through my kids' rooms at night and make sure their closet doors are shut.  I'm not kidding.

  • I also make up songs every night for my son, Peyton.  He happens to like them and actually asks for them (he's strange like me).  Here is the one I made up a couple nights ago (sing it to any tune you'd like):
Peyton should really stop burping,
Cuz for his mom, it's really not working.
He's negatively impacting his life,
And he'll never get a good job or a wife.
So Peyton should really stop burping.

Peyton then informed me that he doesn't want a job or wife anyway, and that he just wants to marry me.  He might be my favorite.  I'm kidding, of course (kinda).
  • I have a locker room phobia.  I hate being around other naked women.  I hate being naked in front of other women.  I hate the thought of naked women in any sort of capacity.  So I avoid it at all costs.  My husband cannot get over this one, bless his heart.
  • I am not the slightest bit afraid of snakes, mice, spiders, or musk rats.  I once removed a musk rat from my garage with my bare hands, while pregnant.
  • I do have a fear of mushrooms, olives and large chunks of tomatoes in my food. 
  • I am an accountant and have been in this field for 17 years. I'm pretty good at it. But I might be the only accountant I know of that sings and dances in the office and occasionally speaks in different accents. I think I was meant for the stage, but missed my calling somewhere along the road. My co-workers are good people for humoring me and pretending that I actually entertain them.
So, those of you that know me well and have accepted my strangeness, I thank you and love you.  You have been good to me throughout the years.  And for those who are yet to know me, look out!  You're in for a real (strange) treat.
J to the H